Working Hard, or Hardly Working?

Have you ever had one of those moments where you stop, look at your life and schedule, and think to yourself “Damn, I am super busy!” or “Damn, I have nothing to do!”?

Which one do you like more?

For the better part of 5 years, I’ve been looking at my life in the latter, with all this free time and nothing to do with it.  And for the longest time, I loved it.  It’s pretty nice to be able to say “sure” every time someone asks you to do something, or to be able to take a nap in the middle of the day without worry of missing some deadline.  In college especially, this was a huge blessing… time to do whatever you wanted, to goof off, listen to music, play video games or sports, or whatever.

Then my job at Deere came about.  While it wasn’t necessarily the best in terms of keeping me busy or on task, it was my first “big boy” job, challenging me in ways that I had never challenged myself before.  Obviously, I struggled at the beginning, trying to come to terms with the fact that I had sold my soul my free time for money.  Every day, from 7 to 3 (or thereabouts), my life was planned, scheduled, and in the book.  I guess in a way, it was like being back in high school again, except high school was all about having fun (and that learning stuff).  I was sick of the “routine” by about the 3rd month, and though it cut into my paycheck, I secretly enjoyed the days that Deere would tell me I had off.

But then the strangest thing happened.  Deere put me on retainer, and I didn’t work for a few months.  I collected unemployment, I sat at home, avoided the bitterly cold winter, watched TV, and played World of Warcraft.  And I hated every minute of it.

(slightly off topic: I see a button labeled “Turbo” up in my toolbar… and I can’t help but wonder if I push it, if WordPress will read my mind and use ESP to dictate out the remainder of this post.  Needless to say, I’m not going to test it…)

I was so confused.  Here I was, playing a game I was (for all intents and purposes) addicted to, watching all the TV I could ever hope for, and not having to work.  There was a cute girl that I was into around that time, plus my friends up at UNI.  I had my music, my guitars.  I at least had enough income to pay rent and utilities.  So why was I so down?

And I figured it out… somewhere along the lines, I’d translated from the “I love having nothing to do” kind of person into the “keep me busy” person that I am right now.  I think this is one of the key things that led me back to becoming a student again.  Every day is somewhat planned out for me.  I’ve got free time, but I’ve got quite a few options to fill it with (yes, Mom, I’m studying).  I’ve got 12 hours of class per week, an online class, church, music and guitars, friends to hang out with and play tennis/disc golf with, a job, some side projects… I’m far from the busiest guy even in Cedar Falls, but I’ve got enough to get me from 8am to 7 or 8pm almost every day.  And it’s great.  I love it.

I was sitting around last night, winding down from the day, and I got bored.  I was watching football, playing some video games, talking to a few people, checking my news and e-mail… and I was bored.  Nothing really was fully engaging me that night.  This has happened to me on a couple of occasions in the past, which usually resorts to me pulling out a textbook and reading/taking notes… which, for those of you who know me, know that this is probably one of the biggest miracles known to man.  I thrive on being busy right now, having activities that fully engage me all day.  Maybe it’s a sign of me growing up?  Or maybe I’m just finally coming to grips with what needs to be done to get myself moving onward with life.

Along these lines… I think this is why I multitask as much as I do.  More often than not, I find myself not fully engaged in whatever various activities I’m participating in most of the time… I’ll watch TV and surf the net.  I’ll IM people while doing homework (though that’s being cut down on drastically).  I used to take a laptop to class, not only to take notes on, but to give me something to do when the teacher’s lecture got boring.  (Thankfully, I broke myself of that habit this summer.)  I’m not really sure if this multitasking is good or bad… at times, it can be a pain, but for the most part, I have yet to see any true negative effects from my everyday efforts to do multiple things at once.

So… who are you?  Do you like being busy and having things that fill your schedule?  Or do you prefer having open blocks in your day that allow you to do whatever you want?  Some sort of mix in between?

~ by Nic Lake on September 11, 2009.